When I tell you I’m autistic, you might imagine that means I struggle with eye contact, miss social cues, and find cold calls terrifying.
You would be right, for the most part.
Social ineptitude, I’ve overcome, but I’m forever tethered to my awkwardness.
I confess, eye contact does not come naturally. I have to remember to do it, and it’s never comfortable when I do. Just give it a few seconds, and my eyes will drift away again.
Cold calls make my chest tight. I rehearse what I am going to say, maybe even pace around my home, rehearse it again, and then I sit with my finger over the dial button for longer than I care to admit. And deliver an elevator pitch, in person? I’d sooner take the stairs. (Yes, I know [now] that phrase isn’t literal)
Social media was not built for me, at least not in the way that helps my business. Instagram and TikTok reward charisma, spontaneity, and a kind of effortless charm that neurotypicals boast in abundance. As for me, my social well runs considerably more shallow.
The algorithm favors people who can perform for the camera without a second thought.
That is not me.
Every post is work. Every caption is a puzzle. Every video takes twice as long to make because I have to force myself into a frame that does not feel natural.
Even before every shoot, I linger in my car, not just to run through the poses, but to remember what I’m going to say in the greeting.
The deck is stacked against me, has always been stacked against me. I am forced to play a game I am not wired to compete in.
Even so, history tells me I will overcome.
Many of my people get stuck in an endless cycle of awkward first dates. As of today, I have been happily married for four years.
Many of my people never step into another classroom after 12th grade. I hold a four-year college degree.
Many of my people struggle to gain independence and still live with their parents. I have bought two condos in two different states.
Many of my people find jobs through staffing agencies. I have maintained a full-time career in digital journalism for over a decade.
The number of my people who have launched their own businesses is even smaller.
Yet, here I am.
I’ll make it. I always have. Fate wills it so.
With that said, here is what you get when you hire me.
I will show up early. I will check every exposure and every shadow. I will direct you through every pose, because I know you do not know how to do it yourself.
I will answer your questions honestly, with great forethought and gentleness.
I will deliver your gallery on time. I will retouch every image until it looks like the best version of you.
You are not hiring a photographer who will charm you with a larger-than-life personality. You are hiring someone who is obsessed with the craft of portraiture, someone who will lose sleep over getting the light right, someone who will edit your photos at midnight because he cannot stop thinking about a shadow that needs to be softer.
That is the deal. That’s the standard.
I own a portrait photography business. I am autistic.
And still, I persevere.
If you want a portrait artist who will show up, do the work, and hand you a gallery of images you actually want to post, let us talk.
